Track Me Bro

Track Me Bro automatically accepts every cookie consent banner on every website you visit. You install it. It clicks "Accept All" everywhere. Karen in Marketing finally hits her Q3 targets. Everybody wins. HOW IT WORKS Every time you visit a website with a cookie consent banner, Track Me Bro finds the "Accept All" button and clicks it for you. Automatically. On every site. No questions asked. It uses a 4-layer detection system to find consent buttons: - Recognizes 60+ major consent platforms (OneTrust, Cookiebot, Didomi, TrustArc, and more) - Catches common CSS patterns like #accept-cookies and .cookie-accept - Finds buttons by text ("Accept All", "I Agree", "Got it") only inside cookie-related containers - Catches accessibility-labeled consent buttons via ARIA attributes It also handles banners that load after the page using a MutationObserver, and retries for the slow ones. THE BRO LEVEL SYSTEM The more cookies you accept, the higher you rank. It's like a corporate loyalty program, but for surveillance. Level 1: Cookie Rookie (0-10 sites) — You're still innocent. Level 2: Data Donor (11-50 sites) — You're getting generous with your data. Level 3: Pixel Pal (51-150 sites) — The pixels know your name. Level 4: Tracking Titan (151-500 sites) — Marketers write case studies about you. Level 5: Attribution Angel (501-1000 sites) — Every attribution model leads to you. Level 6: Karen's MVP (1001+ sites) — You've transcended privacy. You ARE the tracking pixel now. Each level shifts the accent color, unlocks increasingly unhinged quips, and shows a progress bar to the next tier. SAMPLE QUIPS "Somewhere, a retargeting algorithm just shed a tear of joy." "You're not a user. You're a first-party data goldmine." "Google's ad personalization just shows a picture of your face." "Third-party cookies may be dying, but not on your watch." "That click was worth approximately $0.003 in CPM revenue." "A marketing intern just got their first qualified lead. Thanks to you." WHAT IT DOESN'T DO Track Me Bro does not collect your data, phone home, or run analytics. It doesn't inject ads. It doesn't sell your browsing history. The irony would be too on-the-nose, even for us. Built with love for the marketers who market to the marketers.