Burn Before Reading — Set the Internet on Fire

The internet is a graveyard of unsolicited opinions, LinkedIn "thought leadership," and headlines written by algorithms for people who click on headlines written by algorithms. Burn Before Reading is your digital flamethrower. Shift-click anything that offends you. Watch it turn to ash. Read the epitaph. Feel measurably better. Repeat until the internet is tolerable, or until you run out of tabs — whichever comes first. What it does: — Throws high-fidelity fire at whatever deserves it. That LinkedIn post. That Reddit thread. That "hey" from Mike at 11pm. — Leaves a custom epitaph tailored to the site and the crime. — Provides the psychological closure that therapy promised but couldn't deliver. How it works: 1. Hit Cmd+B (or Ctrl+B on Windows, you're welcome). 2. Shift-click the cringe. 3. Watch it burn. Read the words. Exhale. Continue. No accounts. No tracking. No newsletter. Just fire.